For a long time, I thought I was alone.

Alone, rushing around getting a job

Alone, stuggling through life - finding all means to survive

Alone, fighting against our own battles

Alone, with all the emotional traumas that make u flip.

Alone, with all the stress & pressures that you couldn't let it out

but to suspress it down, piling on the other suppressed issues you had before (in you)

I always thought I was alone on my little space

with all the "shit" slowly filling up the space

fighting with me over the space & suffocating me

But it ain't true ...

I made the most realisations on my birthday on 18th Feb and more realisations on 19th feb

I realised that there has always been people around me who stood by me

Always ...

People who stood there ... quietly ... giving me the most support

& I didn't even notice that they are giving me their energies & strength that I need to move on

I thought my family has forgotten about my birthday when no one spoke of anything at all on that day ...

I thought I was forgotten by friends around me when I receive no wishes from them

I thought everybody is busy with their own lives that they are not free to do anything

I thought NO ONE was with me ...

But I was wrong

One need not be physically present to be felt

Love can be felt across distances

it's how amazing love is felt even though I wasn't physically in contact with people who love me so much

I never realised how much my yjc classmates meant to me until today

when we met after a bloody long time

I never knew I actually cherish them so much

and how little I did for them in the past

I realised that...

& it made me wanna hold on to them so much

I should start loving again ...

all my friends around me

I've forsaken them becos of my inability to cope with myself

This is unfair to all the love i've received

"You gain something from the source, you contribute something back to the source"

That's how it works

Thanks everybody who made my birthday so wonderful

~peying~ ~xiaowei~

~pps, sarah, te hsin, huishan, ee wei, jasmine~

~mummy, dad, kelvin, kenneth~

~Executive coach international~

~julz, vicky~

~ caijun, joanne, jiahuey, tocksoon~

~tinybox esp felicia, jo, evyonne~

I love all of you & those not on the list as well ...

Muacks

Finally, Season 5 is out ...

I've been waiting since the end the season 4 last year.

It's fascinating how this drama made an impact in my life.

Not an impact exactly, but it did gets entwined in my life.

What attracts people to watch & love it so much?

I have no idea

But I do know that it does project a very representative picture of the community

It does

Have always been very fascinated by how the roles they played, situations they got themselves in could translate so much about us

The rest of the roles in the show weren't that of a significance though

I guess they were just distractions in the show

Juz like they were distractions in our lives

How different people deal with distractions

The agony they faced

The turbulence they met

The struggles they fight against

The desire that they long for

The willpower they have to stay on track

The content of the show spells nothing

It's the feelings that speak

Said and unsaid

Felt and unfelt

How a single event change everything

How a single decision change everything

& how a single word change everything

every single move

has a whole list of possiblities

that follows ...

& those possibilites lead to even more possiblities

& every single move is a learning experience

One life Is Not enough to know all

But one life is enough for one to know what they need to learn

whether they see it or not

willing to learn or not

willing to do it or not

It's up to you . . .

~Keep on Fighing~

~If the fight is worth fighting~